Fortune Cookie

Yesterday, I arrived in the small town of Furth, just outside of Nuremberg, Germany. By the time I got all situated in my hotel, my stomach became an active participant in the plan-making process. I searched for food and had the option between Pizza and Chinese. I chose Chinese with high hopes that fortune cookies were not only American. To my pleasant surprise, Germans are equally as hopeful that a small little piece of paper can actually make a difference. That being said, Germans take their fortunes in a more cerebral direction. I was hoping for something along the lines of “You will have great success in your near future.” Instead, I got the following:

IF CERTAINTY WERE TRUTH, WE WOULD NEVER BE WRONG

While I felt as if knew all the words, I wasn’t quite able to wrap my head around the statement. I did what any abnormal human would do and broke it down word for word.

IF - on the condition or supposition that; in the event

CERTAINTY - firm conviction that something is the case

WERE - second person singular past, plural past, and past subjective of be

TRUTH - the quality or state of being true

WE - used by a speaker to refer to himself or herself and one or more other people considered together

WOULD - past of will, in various senses

NEVER - at no time in the past or future; not ever

BE - exist

WRONG - not correct or true; incorrect

After such a breakdown I was certain I knew what it meant. Then I read it again…