Riter’s Blok
In concern to the allegations that have been directed at me in regards to being a really cool guy now that my website is in all black in white, I must confess… it is true. I am cool. This newfound coolness however has been detrimental to me letting go of my ego and writing what I want. I recognize that I have created such high-quality content in the past, and know that I must continue to live up to those expectations. Unfortunately, while I am now cool, the pressure of creating worthy content is debilitating. Pages have been written and pages have been deleted. The voice of value always whispers in my ear that “this is not good enough.”
Whether it has to do with my personal struggle with lack of worth or just a simple block in creative juices, the canvas continues to remain blank. In the last month and a half, a lot of events have taken place in my life. I covered over 7500 miles in Subaru Crosstrek, which I have since named Ruuster. I ventured through 15 states and stopped in on friends and family in the last-ditch effort to maintain my humble roots of being a nomad.
During the westward journey, I fell victim to a merciless virus that had me mentally and physically crippled. The result was a two-night non-all-inclusive stay in the fabulous and charming Best Western in Wendover, Utah. While the experts said it was not COVID, it did bring me to my knees both metaphorically and literally. As my body bravely fought its’ way back to health I continued my journey. I made a stop in the location of my childhood. It was lovely. I then scurried on down to Paso Robles where my brother decided to join the current movement on Instagram and ask his girlfriend to marry him. After further consultation with my closest genetic relative, it does turn out that he indeed does love her. I can now confirm that it wasn’t just for the ‘gram. From there I spent a festive Jewish Christmas at our cousins in Los Angeles where we ate Chinese food and celebrated Rabbi Claus’s generous mitzvahs. Ruuster and I chugged along to Arizona to once again make sure my brother and his fiance were actually serious about this whole marriage thing. I stayed for two weeks to observe and report. I played golf during the day to keep myself busy. After my welcome had been more than overstayed and I was convinced they were serious about this whole marriage deal and I decided to head back east. To break up the trip I stopped in Colorado and Chicago before finally making my way back down to South Carolina.
After all the traveling, I figured I would have a story of some sort as a result of my adventure. Unfortunately, nothing has come across my mind in which I deem worthy. As I clarified at the beginning, ever since I made this entire website black and white, I have since been recognized as being cool. That means whatever I put out into the world must reflect such qualities. I have a standard that I must hit. I can’t say just anything I want anymore. I now have the obligation to write something that either provokes emotion or at the least be entertaining. So in order to be open and honest about this content creation struggle, I decided to write about not being able to write. For all of my readers, I apologize. Hopefully someday soon there will be something of value to talk about.
Side Notes:
Writing about not writing is a funny thing. By “thing,” I’m talking about the incredible irony of the idea itself. The two thoughts contradict each other in a way that is both simple to comprehend, yet hits the mind in a deeper more thought-provoking way. It’s one part fun, and another part dumb. Dumb fun.
I hope you had fun.
Also, my brother's fiance is the best!
